The Card

Garbage in Garbage out

Dedicated to my dear, very old (lol) friend, Chris.

As I realize that there is so much more to life than what meets the eye, I can't help but notice one of the most important of all characteristics of life lessons- one that is often learned late, and more often unfortunately, when it's too late: the ability to let things go. Most of what I know about, what I write about later, comes from life lessons. I fear to say that life lessons aren't learned from a book because anyone who writes most likely reads and anyone who reads knows that you can become quite enlightened from reading the feelings of those who write about them. So it's with delicate measures that I make the verbal assumption that learning's playground is hands on and the curve is ever changing. (I'll expand more later on this.)

Since my house has been torn up, my pysche has been in conjunction, crumbling as well, as has Sarah's I've determined. At least that's the only thing I can blame for her awful behavior recently. Maybe it's the fact that I have made spoiling children look like a work of art. Either way, I've noticed that there are lots of times in my life that I have not let the right things go, and slipped on the heels of the unscrupulous all too many times.

The sheer stress of making difficult decisions alone has just about put me in an early grave. But what I've noticed is, that it's not the decisions that are tough to make, it's recognizing and associating the value of the accompanying factors that lead up to the decision making time that distract us from making right choices. For example, your mind remembers numbers in one basic way. It's called chunking. It trains itself to break up numbers into small recognizable numbers which enables it to remember longer numbers easier than if you were to try to remember one long number. Telephone numbers are a perfect example of chunking. If you look at your daily decision making routines in that way, you can account for all the contributing factors that divide and conquer your mind, which ultimately influence your decision.

My outlook is ever changing, and it's only when I have moments of clarity and distinction that I can realize that it's not the actual problem that stems the unwanted results, it's my way of chunking out the underlying issues. I have always been a believer in fate, in destination, which would only allow me to believe that things will ultimately be OK. One would think that would negate any feelings of uncertainty, any unruly feelings altogether, which brings me to the final point in thought.

We live in a constant emotional state as we allow ourselves to. There is not a feeling in the world that will supply us with a correct answer- because there are no right and wrong answers. What is right to you might be wrong to me, and vice versa. There is and there is not, and it is all according to you. That is life. In math, your equations will either end up right or wrong, but there are lots of equations that even the latest and greatest could never solve. Everything is contradictory, and we are all human. That is one of the hardest lessons to learn.

If I can keep my mind in this state, I will be fine. Who knows what I will feel in five minutes. hahahahahahahaha. Point proven.

9/14/11 creativity should not be squandered

I am starting to believe that creativity is a gift from God. I've always wondered what gifts I've had, other than being a really good bullshitter. Having been known for having the gift of gab for most of my life, starting at the ripe-old age of 7 when my second grade teacher would often make handwritten notes to my mom on my tri-folded report card, donning the school crest in the traditional all-American colors of red, white, and blue- after all, it is called Myers Park Traditional, still to this day. (In fact, I have been toying with sending Sarah there next year, if I can get her in.) She would say things like, "Talks too much," or "If only we could get Brooke to focus as much on her schoolwork as she does on gabbing to her neighbors." No one pointed out to Mrs. James that was an incomplete sentence, especially not me.
My GOG- gift of gab has had its ramifications. I have either been the life of the party, causing many nights of senseless groundation while I was in my teenage years. Well, it was senseless in the regard that I was doing dumb things, and always got caught. On the other hand, I was also occasionally the social outcast, having always spoken my mind, and at the age of 17, it is never appropriate for a young woman to speak her mind, simply because she doesn't have enough worldly knowledge to sufficiently and succinctly express any opinions she might have prematurely formed, without realizing. Everyone knows that when you are a teenager, you know everything. You can't tell a teenage girl anything. She already knows. Little did I really know. Little do I still know. Maybe that's a clue as to why I am so intrigued with elderly people, and enjoy their presence and likewise accompanying stories.